Sometimes I feel like what I spend most of my time doing is not understood. The focus on what I am feeling. The focus on what is alive inside the finite limitations of my skin. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who sees the value in being present with what is Here in the Now; what is real. I feel like I am the only one to whom it matters. Sometimes I believe that I am wrong as a result of being different. In those moments I also believe that everyone else is normal and right. In this Now, I ask myself if I am the only one who has become aware of a thing everyone is longing for. It is quite the question: am I wrong, or are everyone else wrong?
What I am doing is so profound, necessary and life altering.
I am observing what is happening in my inner world. I pay attention to thoughts, emotions and sensations. I allow them to be seen and heard. They are me. My intention in this life is to see what I am and to seek understanding of why I am those things that I see. With understanding comes acceptance comes appreciation.
Seeing what I am, understanding what I am, grows my capacity to see and understand You. It makes me capable of receiving you, just as you are.
When I feel a fire of rage burning in my chest, I focus my attention on the fire. I ask it why it started to burn. When hearing the reason why, I tell the fire that I understand and that it is allowed to burn. I am not afraid, nor repelled. I move closer. I believe that every emotion is beautiful in its own way. I ask “what do you need?” and then consider how to take necessary action. Taking action based on what I need keeps my integrity intact, which feels good. I feel strong and real.
When I show up on social media, I am letting you get a glimpse of my inner world… I am intending to make it ok to be who you are by showing you where I am. I see so much strength and beauty in what I do. Today it puzzles me that not everyone else are seeing the same. I am not saying no one sees it. I am saying that most people seem to not see it. Most people I observe on social media seem to be pushing an agenda, which I do not want to make wrong. I can see the value in a variety of different messages, like “choose soft”, “train hard” or “sharpen you focus”. We get to choose a message that benefit us. On the other hand… I keep coming back to what I am doing as the most important work. Am I ignorant, acting superior or in denial? I do not know. It does not feel like it, but I am aware that I might not (probably not) see the full picture.
Asking you to be honest about what you are; thoughts, feelings and sensations, will most likely feel like the dumbest idea you have ever heard. You learned to be in a way that was socially acceptable. I am asking you to be all of you, which includes that which was not acceptable.
It feels better to do what brings acceptance than to be present with what is real and by doing so, risk it all, but if you do so you will never taste the feeling of being loved for who you truly are.
The focus on everyone else wanting to, and being capable, of doing the same.
Gunhild Archer, counselor 