Sometimes I’m faced with people who struggle to let me be where I’m at. They tell me things like: “if you saw your own gifts, you wouldn’t feel hurt that others didn’t see them”.
Which gives me confusion and doubt.
My internal dialog at that point goes something like this: “How am I supposed to feel different? Is there something I’m not seeing (which, if I saw it, would make me feel different)? Why am I not able to shift my perspective and feel better? Am I being difficult, stubborn, rigid…? Maybe I don’t want to admit that I’m wrong. It’s off-putting to be this unwilling to admit that I’m wrong, shame is ugly”.
I often conclude that surely, they are see something I’m not seeing. They are right and I am wrong.
Why am I doing that?
To maintain connection.
They couldn’t, or didn’t want to, connect with me where I was. They didn’t establish a connection with the current reality of me. Despite me feeling responsible and wrong for them not seeing me, the reality is that I’m not.
My job is to show up as I am.
The other’s job is to see if they chose to.
It’s a free will life, they don’t have to see – I’m coming to terms with that over and over again. Should they choose to see, they are still allowed to react in whatever way they like. They don’t have to connect. They might want something completely different, maybe they’re all about… I don’t know… Something else.
If they aren’t about connecting in curiosity with what is present though, they are not for me. Not anymore. I’m opening the door to magic and wonder. I yearn for curious, gentle, and adventurous exploration of each other’s inner realms.
Gunhild Archer, counselor 