Gunhild Archer, counselor

Someone (it was my mom) recently suggested that I reconsider the content I put up on my social media. “You are selling your vulnerability”, she said. It was a blow to my ego, but… She is right. That being said, I don’t necessarily want to change what I share, not completely at least, but yes – I want to change something.

Anyway.

What my mom said made me think about my “why”. All the vulnerable posts you have seen over the years… Why am I sharing myself like that? Down the rabbit hole I went, until I found myself questioning the value of what I do.

“What value am I getting from sharing?”

“What value do you get from reading?”

After a while, answers appeared (thankfully… Nothing screams existential crisis more than questioning 6 years of effort).

My “why” is simple. Writing helps me get in touch with what I feel. It helps me process and integrate, which are two necessary steps towards a sense of self, self-worth, well-being etc. Sharing what I write is a needed step in the process of healing: it is me showing up to be seen. In a way it doesn’t matter whether I’m seen or not, it’s the “letting myself be seen” that heals.

What do YOU get from reading? I’m not sure, but I can tell you how I want you to understand and utilize what I share.

• I want you to understand that what you see is my process. IN my process are my methods, my tools, my philosophy. I don’t spell it out, but it is there.
• You get to see someone’s vulnerability – their truth. That’s lacking in today’s world. Most of us are hiding – we only show what we think is accepted. I am an exception, and my message is: It is ok to be you. My truth is messy too.
• The process itself, you get to see how I navigate, which in turn helps you learn how YOU can navigate. I am giving myself time to work through my thoughts and emotions. Follow my lead, you can also give yourself time to work through your emotions. I share my fear of being left behind when I take the time I need, and I share how I deal with that. See, you are not alone if you feel afraid. Look to me – there is a way to deal with it, I just showed you.
• The realizations and uncovered truths I share give you an opportunity to get in touch with your own truth. I offer my process as an access point.
• Last but not least, you get to see someone who does not quit. I have been chugging along for years, navigating to the best of my ability, there is trial and error, and moments of giving up. This is what “going for your dreams” look like.

You probably want to follow me for a longer period of time to extract the most value. I am not the “quick soundbite”-kind of woman. Real growth, change, and healing takes time. The formula probably goes like: time + commitment + tools appropriate for the task at hand. Realizations and epiphanies happen moment by moment, but the real process – the one I hope to inspire you to embark on, is a “it takes years”-kind of process.

If you have followed me for some time, you know I am a different person than when I started. The love I feel towards myself is way beyond what I knew was possible. Not just that, the relationships I get to experience, they are everything I ever dreamt of, and more. The rewards from taking on this journey is immense.