There are three types of people who reach out to me for help. Some people already have a set of tools to navigate the ups and downs in life but want a new set of eyes and/or additional support. Others don’t even know that tools exist. They literally have no clue that it’s possible to navigate their current struggles in a way that helps them achieve what they want. Then there are those who have got unsuitable and inefficient tools (potentially they outgrew what were once helpful and effective tools).
What I think is wise to keep in mind is which one you are and what that means for what kind of therapeutic relationship you want to choose. Think about it… Practitioners offer so many different options, their toolbox can be vastly different, and their beliefs about the world might be worlds apart. They offer single sessions, packages, some offer 3-month deals and others require your commitment for a year, there are group offers (big and small), communities, self-paced learning through modules, some offer voice message (#voxer) support and the list goes on. Some practitioners are down to earth, some believe in magic, some focuses on what you think, others on what you feel…
A common theme I see amongst practitioners on social media is the tendency to make lofty promises. I’m hesitant to point at someone’s offer and say: “that doesn’t work” because in the end I don’t know. It might. That being said, I think many practitioners sell made up results, or maybe their results are real, but they didn’t achieve them in a sustainable “being true to myself”-kind of way. Most people are NOT doing the gut-wrenching work required to live in alignment with their truth.
So, what can you do to increase the chance of finding a truthful practitioner? I want to offer up a few questions I think could be helpful.
I think it’s important to ask yourself what you need. You can also ask what would make you feel supported. You might be surprised with the answers. In fact, let me make this an interactive post. Imagine you are starting therapy. What do you need to be able to work on your challenges? What would make you feel supported, it could be a specific approach, the practitioner’s qualities etc? I would love to hear your answers in the comments.
Another thing you can ask yourself is what kind of promises the practitioner makes. Do they make promises that are rooted in reality? Do their beliefs match yours (or stretch you in the right direction)? It’s also beneficial to ask if their offers are compatible with what you need. A lofty promise can be rooted in reality, but it might not be what you need. I’m curious to hear what kind of promises you see in the online space you find unrealistic or misleading?
Gunhild Archer, counselor 