So much has happened in the last six months, so much is changing.
My relationships are changing. Relationships that used to be close are less close, I have ended some, stepped further into others, and new relationships have been created too.
In August I ended a 7-year cycle. 7 years that brought change I’m only now beginning to see the magnitude of. I’m a different person than I was. My feelings are different. My behavior is different. My choices are different.
I made life changing decision that required me to step into a new level of self-trust. I let go of something I thought I wanted and chose a reality that’s genuinely aligned with my truth. I never made a decision I could never go back on.
I have become more existential, I’m more present in the moment. I used to dream about the future in a “visualize what you want”-kind of way. I have pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion to get there. WHEN I’m financially abundant, THEN I will buy my dream house, and WHEN I have bought my dream house, THEN I will have a gorgeous and devoted partner. I’m more here and now, I’m more present for each moment. (Not every moment, I’m not “enlightened”.)
Devotion has entered my life. Devotion to myself, but more than that, to what life has in store. I had a moment in my early twenties when I felt “something big is coming”. I lost touch with that feeling for a decade, but recently it has come back… Only with more strength, and a new and distinct flavor. What’s coming feels bigger than I could first imagine; it feels more mystical, and more expansive.
I feel a desire to be more radical and unapologetic. I feel like a new reality is in front of me, waiting for me. I want to step in. I want to take following strategy and authority more seriously. I feel pulled to surrender to life and see where I’m taken. Being led by the mystery is all of a sudden filling my entire being.
I have come to terms with what I want and need relationship wise. The relationship path I have chosen is unconventional. I’m exploring what I truly want, not what society would have me want. I’ve put myself in the midst of fire, I’ve taken on my initiation of choice. I have invited a process that will purify me.
Gunhild Archer, counselor 