Gunhild Archer, counselor

I know multiple women who have been raped, and I’ve read about countless more. They’ve been held at knife point, drugged, raped while sleeping, raped by multiple men taking turns, by someone they liked, by their partner…

What would you think if your best friend confided in you about having raped someone? After your thoughts have settled, what would you do? Would you try to understand, cut ties, slowly stop reaching out…?

There are people we have given permission to kill, we labeled them soldiers, but you also have the regular guy, the “criminal”, who has taken a life.

What if someone told you they tried to kill someone, or DID kill somebody… What would your initial emotional reaction be? After the emotions subsided, how would you react?

Approximately one child in each class is sexually abused, most often by a family member or a caretaker in their close circle like a teacher, coach, priest, nanny…

What would you do if the person you’re married to opened up about haven taken advantage of a child? What if it was YOUR child?

I’m not asking for the right answer, I don’t want the “of course I would report them, take the kids, and leave”-answer. I’m asking for the painstakingly most-likely scenario. Truly… What would you do? It’s your best friend; you’ve known each other your entire life, they’ve been with you through thick and thin. What if it’s the person you married, YOUR person, the one who’s always been there, you’ve shared your most intimate moments together… You love them and can’t imagine life without them. If they told you they’d done the unthinkable, what would run through your mind? What would you feel? When the thoughts and feelings settled, what would you do?

Plot twist…

What if YOU were the one who, maybe unknowingly (don’t scoff, we understand situations WILDLY different and I’ve talked to people who crossed boundaries and have zero comprehension that they did), raped someone? If you had, justifiably (I assume most people feel like they have a valid reason), threatened to take someone’s life, or taken someone’s life? How about the sexual touch you convinced yourself was harmless, you didn’t think you crossed the line – “it was harmless”… What if your conscience one day caught you, and you decided to confide in someone you trusted, maybe your partner? In what way would you need them to react and why?

Second plot twist.

What if your son or daughter came to you in confidence and told you what they’ve done. As a parent, what would run through your mind? After processing what they’ve said, how would you have chosen to react?