What I want is for you to be solid in your own truth.
I want you to have a strong foundation and some core principles you can always rely on.
I want you to know your values, they will help with direction when the going gets tough (or confusing).
When you are conflicted, when you don’t know what to do, I want you to have access to that voice who tells you: “We have been here before. You are ok. It is going to be ok. Sit down. Listen to your feelings. Get an overview. Become present and connect. Establish dialog with your emerging truth”.
When someone tells you “Only a divine union will give you unconditional and committed love” and you get triggered (because you don’t want to be monogamous, but you want unconditional and committed love), I want you to have access to self-regulation. I want you to have that internal space where you can question if being non-monogamous truly means the absence of unconditional love and commitment and finding what is true for YOU.
I don’t want you to have to read a post written by someone else to feel justified in wanting what you want. I don’t want you to feel like your perspective is valid only because someone else made a comment describing your thoughts exactly the way you would. I don’t want you to fake feeling comfortable in your own skin after starting a “morning dance routine” because an influencer made a TikTok dancing in her pj’s with the caption “stopped caring about what people think and started loving myself”.
I want you to have your own permission to live life the way you want.
When you decide to express your perspective, I want you to do so comfortably and confidently.
I’m not telling you to stop reading posts on Instagram or to not be influenced. I’m not saying
don’t
less
or
no.
I’m saying:
more
and
AND.
I want you to read posts, try on, try out, try and fail… AND run it by yourself. In the process of running it by yourself, do what you need to establish a few necessary core principles, so you know how to anchor yourself in your own truth.
Gunhild Archer, counselor 