Some people intentionally provoke hurt to get a “gotcha” moment.
Me being hurt by what you did doesn’t mean I lose.
It’s not the gotcha moment you think it is.
A heart that’s open and willing to be touched is precious. I think every woman wants to feel their heart, and every man wants a woman who feels her heart.
You looking for a gotcha moment tells me your heart is touched by me, and your internal system is set up to shame the fact that you’re affected.
You could have owned it, instead you choose to deflect in an attempt to make me feel your shame and pain. I see you; chances are I see you more deeply than you see yourself. If I hadn’t done the work to make peace with the fact that I care, and want to care, your deflection would bring up my own shame… But I am at peace. My heart is affected, I care, and that’s ok.
Gunhild Archer, counselor 