Gunhild Archer, MD in Psychology and Counseling

Someone (someone on the internet, in a post, probably on Instagram, could have been a woman or a man, but was likely a woman) wrote that the word you use to define two people who both (!) want (!) to be intimate in a sexual way is “sex”.

In other words… Sex is the word you use to describe two people who WANT to be physically and sexually intimate.

That means you can NOT use the word “sex” to describe an act where one person who wants it and one person doesn’t.

That’s called something else.

It’s called rape.

How often have you had sex without wanting to?

How does it feel to call it rape?

Not “sex I didn’t want”…

Rape.

I imagine women have unwanted sex more often than men, but I’m interested in hearing stories from both men and women.

What made you go along or give in?

What would happen if you didn’t go along or give in?

I think most people will see a sexless relationship as meaningless and/or unheard off. Why? What is it that makes sex so important?

Another question I keep coming back to: If you were the one who kept insisting, what feels good about making the other person give in? We’re not supposed to feel good about making someone do something they don’t want to do, yet here we are – if it didn’t feel good no one would do it, so we can just as well air the dirty laundry and have an open conversation about it.